This has nothing to do "Muh Balls"

I have put great thought to it and decided that this era will be known as "RagnaReallyHotOutside".

Honestly its like 107 right now outside, and I live in an attic. I get to wear black shirts and dark heavy pants to work every day, and sit about 3 feet from a giant window that magnifies the sunlight by %60.

I am thankful for the invention of socks right now. Mine are soaked in the sweat from my manberries. I mean they are hanging. Hardcore. I actually have them tucked into the top of my socks for immediate spongelike absorption. Oh so warm, yes oh so safe. I hope I don't get kicked in the calves today.

The skin of my ball sack is so loose right now from the heat, I am thinking about stretching it out and taking some surrealist photographs. Possibly draped over the back of a chair, veins traced with sharpie, or just stretched out in front of a window, with the light passing through it, like some organic fleshy stain-glass window. Maybe one with a baby wrapped up in it, like some fraternal blanket, its eyes red and tear filled from the stinging sweat. I call it "Quiet Agony".

History to the Un-Puckered Eye

Above we see the oldest lolcat in History. This captioned cat picture postcard was found by Tracy Angulo in a Seattle antique store. Tracy tells us that the photograph is from 1905, which would make this officially the oldest cat picture with a caption, AKA lolcat, that we’ve seen.

It's nice to know that Humanity has ALWAYS been entertained by the stupid, and that a downfall of intellectual society isn't fresh news to anyone.

This makes me wonder what old Fart and Dick jokes were like. Hmmmm

"I say Thadius, the pungent smell of you flatulence have given cause to the swelling of my Johnnie Snake with hardening blood."

"Good word Wallace, you are such a bore!"

"Nay, your Mother was a Boar, and I pummeled her Johnnie Maternal Bits with my swollen Johnnie Snake."

"Outrage! Another word of your swollen Johnnie Snake or my dear Mum and I be forced to one you in the Johnnie Sac!"

"Irony! Your mother tongued my Johnnie Sack like a New Hampshire Pot-Roast last night, imploring me to in return tongue her Johnnie Flaps."

Of course back then all manner of Bodyparts were referred to as Johnnies. It was a bad time to be a young lad named Johnnie, I think that goes without saying. Harsh nicknames for such childeren included things like "Snake Neck", "Sack Face", and of course "Sack Falps".

Of course this period of history had its good sides as well. Medical Science was booming, especially in the field of Johnniecollogie. New medical trends and "cure alls" were hitting the shelves daily. For example the famous "Walter Donnie's Theraputic Cooling Massage Medical Cream" (wich was nothing more than Whale Jelly and Menthol) who coined the famous slogan "Got Balmy Johnnies? Use Donnies!"

Needless to say the writing of literary Smut was at its simplest, and all time selling high.

-This Has been a History LessonOfTwoGoods